Tragedy's Silver Lining
by Chatterbox Angel
Summary: When someone close to Conan dies in a very unexpected way, he feels like everything is lost, and he needs someone to help him start living again. Kaito x Conan slash
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or Magic Kaitou or any of the characters. All of them belong to Goshou Aoyama. I do, however, own the OCs and plotlines used in this fic.

Prologue

It was a cool summer evening at Tropical Land, and like always, the place was filled with both teenagers and old people alike. The only difference was that everyone there was either a friend or relative of one Sonoko Suzuki. She had reserved the entire amusement park as the location of her eighteenth birthday party. Currently, Sonoko was in the bumper cars, teamed up with Ran and Conan to knock the other drivers all over the place. And everyone else was chatting and laughing cheerfully.

Unfortunately, not all was well. It was a moonless night, and the stars were covered by clouds. So, no one had noticed the dark figure on a dark rooftop no more than 500 meters away. That dark figure was a female, dressed head to foot in all black, and she was cradling a 7.62mm, M24 rifle expertly in her arms. This female's name was Zinfandel.

A/N: So, there's the prologue. It's not a whole lot. Anyway, it might not seem like it in the first few chapters, but this is definitely a KaiShin fan fiction. And for those of you who were wondering, Zinfandel is a grape that produces both red and white wine.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or Magic Kaitou or any of the characters. All of them belong to Goshou Aoyama. I do, however, own the OCs and plotlines used in this fic.

Chapter 1

Zinfandel used to have a different name, but that was before she had joined the Organization. So, that name meant nothing to her now. Her old name had been thrown away, forgotten, just like everything else from her past life. However, she was quite new to the Organization, having voluntarily become a member just a few months earlier at the ripe young age of sixteen. Her only contact so far had been Vermouth, but she had been readily informed that her sniping and evasion skills had extremely impressed the boss. Thus far, every murder she had committed in the Organization's name was either unsolved or blamed on someone completely innocent. So, she was quite looking forward to the day that she would meet others and work her way up this particular social ladder. And she had a feeling that day was coming soon.

However, she was not hidden within the darkness by order of the Organization. No, she was there for entirely personal reasons. Exactly two days prior, Zinfandel had found the pictures on Vermouth's dartboard. The one of the light brown-haired woman she had paid no heed because of the bright red X mark on it. However, the other two had worried her: a black-haired girl about her age named "Angel" and a bespectacled, primary school boy labeled as "Cool Guy". She wasn't sure how they were related to Vermouth, but they were definitely not part of the Organization, and bonds like that in their line of work always proved naught but dangerous. So, she had opted to just get rid of the problem herself. That way, even if the Organization managed to trace the deaths and relationships back to her director, Vermouth could easily claim to have order the hits.

After finding the pictures, Zinfandel had immediately set to work on finding their identities. With the sources at her disposal, the search to find out their names and address had been easy and took no longer than a few hours. Nor was it hard to find the Mouri girl's friends and the existence of the giant birthday bash currently taking place.

Anyway, she wanted this to be inconspicuous as possible, and that meant hitting only her two targets. If no one else was murdered, it would be assumed by the police that the teenage girl and young boy had been the unfortunate victims of someone who had a grudge against Kogorou Mouri based on the evidence she had left around for them to find. Once the three children had gotten out of the bumper cars, Zinfandel was presented with the perfect chance. They were no longer moving along jerky paths at unpredictable speeds, and they were far enough away from anyone else that she had a clear shot. Her first target was the boy, because something she had seen in his eyes frightened her. Taking careful aim, she glared at him for a few seconds and fired.

Fortunately or unfortunately, those seconds had been the biggest mistake of her short-lived career. Because even though Ran still wasn't sure that Conan and Shinichi weren't the same person, she had developed a sixth sense about the shrunken detective not unlike the one every mother has about her children. She had felt the glare aimed at Conan and threw herself in the path of the bullet to protect him, just like she had done to protect Ai all those months before.

That was when time seemed to stand still. No one had heard the shot that was fired because of a silencer. Nevertheless, everyone heard the shrill scream that had been unleashed by Sonoko as she watched Ran fall to the ground, blood spurting from her forehead where the bullet had gone through. Then as the miniature detective automatically called the police, many large flash bombs exploded around Zinfandel. A multitude of people saw that and pointed toward the no longer dark rooftop shouting, "Over there! Over there!"

Letting out a long stream of colorful language at being discovered, Zinfandel started packing up her gun as quickly as she possibly could, knowing there wasn't time to try and kill the little boy as well. Expert marksman she may be, but she was still a novice when it came to actual experience and hadn't taken extra precautions to not get caught, because her prior plans had always gone perfectly. So, she hadn't thought to wear gloves, and she couldn't let the police get the gun or the case that had her fingerprints on it. Tragically for her, by the time she had gotten everything packed away and reached the base of the building, it had been surrounded by policemen. And with so much damning evidence on her person, she was easily arrested, all the while wondering who had set off those flash bombs.

Later at about two in the morning, Conan Edogawa sat next to a sobbing Sonoko at the police station where they were waiting with dozens of other people to give a witness statement. He had experienced the extreme shock and horror of what had happened as he watched the girl he loved die an instant gory death. Now, he was waiting for the agonizing pain to overwhelm him and to start crying, much like the girl next to him was doing. However, he knew it would never come. His body and mind had skipped right through that phase and straight to becoming a empty shell.

"Conan-kun, it's your turn now," called the kind, patient, and unmistakable voice of Inspector Takagi. He was standing by the door of his office, waiting for the young boy to reply. That was when Conan realized it wasn't the first time he'd been called. Nodding, the bespectacled boy got up and walked toward the office. His movements were so stiff that they seemed robot-like. A few minutes later, he was sitting a large, comfortable chair next to a table with a steaming mug of hot chocolate for him that he already knew he wouldn't drink. In a tone as gentle and unintrusive as he could manage, Takagi said, "Conan-kun, can you tell me what happened tonight?"

"Ran-nee-chan and I went to Sonoko-nee-chan's party," Conan started hesitantly after a while in a monotone voice. His tone greatly disturbed the inspector, and Conan could feel it, but Takagi remained silent. "We were having fun in the bumper cars for a while when Sonoko-nee-chan decided she wanted some ice cream. So, we all got off and headed toward the dessert stand. We'd been walking for about a minute, and Ran-nee-chan threw herself in front of me quite abruptly. The next thing I saw was blood spurting from her forehead and her body falling to the ground. At the same time, Sonoko-nee-chan screamed. Automatically, I called the police on my cell phone; I already knew that it was too late, that she was dead. Then, a lot of people started shouting and pointing toward something, and I saw flash bombs going off on a roof about five hundred meters away. I also saw Kaitou Kid flying away on his hang glider after throwing the last flash bomb, but he didn't have a heist tonight. So, I'm guessing he just happened to be in the right place at the right time, if you could call it that."

Then, Conan looked up and what Takagi saw then was more disturbing than everything else about this whole case put together. Those normally deeply expressive bright blue eyes looked absolutely hollow, hopeless, and lifeless. No seven-year-old boy should have such eyes. Pushing that thought aside as much as he possibly could, he realized he had learned three new things from the boy's statement. 1. Mouri Ran, Suzuki Sonoko, and Edogawa Conan had been riding the bumper cars. 2. Mouri Ran had been protecting the boy. 3. Kaitou Kid had set off the flash bombs. No one else had noticed Kaitou Kid or that Conan was being protected. He idly wondered if a Kaitou Kid testimony would hold up in court if the police ever did manage to get a hold of the phantom thief, but with so many other eye witnesses, it probably wouldn't even be necessary.

Unsurprisingly, the suspect was not talking, and despite having her fingerprints, they had not found her in any of the criminal databases. They had however, found out who she was. Her name was Kaneko Hasho, a sixteen-year-old student at Toshika High School. Either way, it didn't really matter who she was anymore, just what she had done. Sighing, Takagi tenderly told Conan he could go and went to call in the next witness.

Left to his own devices, the boy headed back to the Mouri Detective Agency. Thoughts and questions he'd never know the answers to swirled through his mind. Why her? Why now? Why not him instead? Was he next? What should he do now? Was there any point to anything anymore? These thoughts should have been accompanied by pain or fear or something, but nothing came. He was still just as hollow, as empty as he had been fifteen minutes afore. Guilt was eating him alive, because it was his fault she had died. Of course it was, why else would someone from the Black Organization be targeting them? There was also a very tiny amount of gratitude towards Kid hidden somewhere in there for helping the murderer be caught. But beyond that, he wasn't feeling much of anything at all.

When he got back to the detective agency, Conan went straight to bed, but he did not go to sleep. Rather, he lie awake as those same thoughts tumbled around relentlessly in his head. When he got up about five hours later, there were dark, black shadows under his eyes, and his whole body screamed in exhaustion. However, he shuffled downstairs and was unsurprised to see a newspaper sitting on the table with the headline _Murderer Commits Suicide _on the front page. The article detailed both the murder and the suicide. In the five minutes the suspect had been left alone, she had slit her own throat with a small knife that had apparently been hidden in her hair. Conan knew the truth, that it was murder, but this case was over now. And he couldn't find it in himself to care much about the death of the one who had murdered his love.

Anyway, he threw the newspaper back on the table and just stood around for a few minutes. He couldn't manage to go to school, to the stares and the questions. He wasn't hungry, and he wanted to be alone. So, he took the one option available to his muddled mind. Conan went back upstairs and back to bed. This time though, his body overpowered his mind, forcing him into a restless slumber.

A/N: There's Chapter 1 done! I know the idea of Ran dying isn't at all original, but I've never seen another fic where she was targeted by someone for the organization or where she died to protect Conan, much less both in one story. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, as sad as it was, but the most depressing part of this story has now been told. I was actually in a pretty bad mood while thinking and writing this part, because I actually really like Ran.

I love reviewers, but I do have a request. I would really love for someone to seriously critique my work. It doesn't have to stop at constructive criticism. I'd love for someone to really pick apart my work and tell me every little thing they hated, what needs to be improved, and what parts of my writing they liked best. Believe me when I say I love all reviews, and it's really nice to know people appreciate my work. However, I'm a far cry from being perfect, and there's always room to improve. Also, if I can get better, I can give better fan fiction to my readers. Anyway, thanks again for reading this fan fiction and hopefully you seriously considered my request.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or Magic Kaitou or any of the characters. All of them belong to Goshou Aoyama. I do, however, own the OCs and plotlines used in this fic.

Chapter 2

The week that followed could aptly be described as Hell. Kogorou had honestly tried to take care of Conan as best he could, but he was too wrapped in mourning his daughter to pay proper attention to a little boy. The result of which ended up with a now malnourished seven-year-old. And everything in the house just reminded Conan too much of Her. Yes, every time he thought of Her now, it was capitalized. After that one very short conversation with Takagi, Conan had been unable to speak or even think Her name.

Either way, directly after the funeral, Conan was legally adopted by Agasa, and Kogorou went to live with Eri. Conan wanted to live by himself in his own house, but Ai wouldn't let him and constantly pulled him back into the professor's home. He could take care of himself, and she knew that well enough. But it was more the fact that he wouldn't take care of himself if left alone that worried her. So, Ai would consistently drag him back home just to make sure he was still alive.

Despite all that, she did allow him to spend the night alone at his own house every once in a while, just to give him some space when she sensed he needed it most. That night had been one such night. Conan was standing on his old room's balcony, staring at the star-filled, moonless night. A cold, bit wind was blowing, but he couldn't feel it. He still couldn't feel anything but the guilt. Sometimes, he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts, but a certain someone wouldn't allow him that.

"What do you want Kid?" Conan asked in a frigid, annoyed tone, not bothering to look back where his uninvited guest would be. His tone was not as sharp as it might have been though, because he still felt the tiny flare of gratitude for the capture of the murderer.

"It's good to see you too, Tantei-kun," the thief replied. Although his words seemed playful, his tone was the complete opposite. "I've missed you at my heists. Is there anything you want to talk about, Tantei-kun?"

"Don't play ignorant, Kid. But no, not with you," the bespectacled boy retorted. "Not with anyone." And even though he couldn't see it, Conan could easily feel the frowning, sympathetic gaze from behind his back.

"That's not good Tantei-kun," Kid said, even more serious this time. He picked up the small boy and sat Conan in his lap. Then, he hugged him from behind and was fairly surprised when he met no struggle. Was he really in that much pain? Did his favorite detective truly no longer care about anything, just as Kaitou had observed? Was that haunting, hollow look in his eyes permanent? "She wouldn't want this, you know that. You can't give up on everything else good in this world just because she's not in it anymore. She would want you out there, putting criminals behind bars with that overly confident expression on your face."

"What would you know?" Conan shouted, anger finally cracking through that carefully woven, inexpressive mask. For some reason, the Moonlit Magician was managing to make him feel where everyone else had failed. "How could you understand losing someone so important to you and knowing it was your fault? What could you possibly know about Her anyway? And for that matter, what do you even know about me? So, don't even think about lecturing me on what R-" Then, he stopped, because he had almost said the forbidden name. Her name. That door was supposed to remain unopened forever, because Conan wasn't sure if he could survive if that door was even cracked.

"I know a lot more than you think," Kid answered soflty, in a voice that mirrored much of Conan's pain. He forced the small boy to look him in the eyes. "She died so you could live, Tantei-kun. And you're not living; you are merely existing. I know this much, Mouri Ran would not want to see you like this." Just like that, the forbidden door was opened, and Conan let out a shriek of agony. His small form began to tremble violently, and his hands clenched Kaitou's jacket with a strength he didn't know he had. As he buried his head in the thief's chest, large tears fell from his eyes, and Kaitou could only hold him while murmuring soothing words in his ears.

This grief, this sorrow, this anguish. It was absolute torture to Conan. He couldn't survive this. No one could survive this. How did anyone survive when the one they were in love with was murdered right before their very eyes? Kaitou Kid had unleashed this torture upon him, but the phantom thief was also the only thing keeping him alive. Right then, Kaitou Kid was the only thing holding him together, and he couldn't understand it. And in the midst of so much pain, he had no energy to even try. All he could do was accept it and continue to cry in the thief's arms.

They stayed there for several hours, and the sun had long since rise before Conan's trembling even began to dwindle. Ai had appeared in the early morning to make sure, like always, that Conan was indeed still breathing. Her face was fairly impassive, but Kaitou had easily been able to make out the relief that was so prominent in her eyes. After worrying about him relentlessly for over two months, the shrunken girl was very comforted to see him displaying any emotion at all. Anyway, Kaitou remained with Conan until he stopped crying completely. When Conan looked up, his eyes were extremely red from all the crying, but miraculously, the hollow look in them was gone. There was much grief and anguish that tugged painfully at the phantom thief's heart, but there was also a very tiny amount of relief and hope. It was miniscule, almost insignificant, but it was there.

"Why?" Conan asked in a voice that sounded halfway between a choke and a sob. "Why did you say her name?"

"Because you needed to start living again," Kid replied seriously, but allowed a small, comforting smile onto his face. "And this was the first step. You needed help with the first step, and I hated seeing you so lifeless. So, I helped you take the first step, and I'll be here to help you with every step you take until you're truly living again: solving cases, chasing after me, etc, etc."

"Oh," Conan gasped, with something akin to fervent gratitude in his tone. "Well, thanks Kid." Then, he favored the magician with a small, sad, yet true smile.

"My pleasure, Shinichi-kun," he said in that crazy voice of his before disappearing in a puff of pink smoke, leaving behind a paper with a phone number and the Kid caricature. It also said, _"Tantei-kun, I'm trusting you not to use this to find out my identity. Hopefully, that trust won't be in vain. Even if it is, call me if you ever need to talk or see me. I'll drop everything and fly straight to you."_

Looking at the paper now clutched in his hand, the smile on Conan's face widened infinitesimally. Kaitou Kid had not misplaced his trust, and the shrunken boy found himself filled with a warm, protective feeling he had long since thought he'd lost.

Kaitou hadn't gotten to school until the bell rang for lunch to begin. He had gone home and changed into his uniform first. He hadn't told his mom anything, but somehow she'd known and just told him she understood what he was doing. Anyway, the second he entered the classroom, Kaitou was immediately surrounded by classmates demanding to know where he'd been. He waved most of them off and slumped down into his normal seat. Then, Hakuba had come over, wanting to know what he was up to. Of course, the teenage detective wanted to know where he'd been more than the rest of the class combined.

"I was taking care of some personal business," Kaitou told him, hoping against hope it would ebb the detective's curiosity enough to leave him alone.

"Were you visiting your girlfriend?" Aoko asked innocently and out of nowhere, instantly earning the rapt attention of everyone in class, rather than just random, interested glances.

"It's not like that," he groaned.

"Almost sounds like you wish it were," Hakuba observed, and the magician started cursing him mentally.

"Doesn't matter," Kaitou sighed. "No matter how strongly I feel, it will never be like that."

"Why do you say that?" Aoko asked persistently. "You're a great catch. In this school alone, there's a ton of girls who'd love to go out with you."

"Because I can never even hope to compete with the bond they now unfortunately have," Kaitou answered. "She gave her life for him. No matter how much I care for him, he'll never see anyone but her."

That statement silenced the whole classroom. No one really gave a second thought to their favorite mischievous magician admitting to being gay, except for Akako who was still trying to capture his heart. It was just another odd quirk to add to the list of weird things that described Kuroba Kaitou. No, what silenced the whole classroom was the seriousness of his tone and the finality of the statement. After a while, everyone resumed their previous conversations and left Kaitou alone.

A/N: And there you have it, Chapter 2! No matter what the situation, I always feel like a depressed Conan is an OOC Conan., because you never see a depressed Conan in the series. But really, what else would you expect if Ran died? Aah! I'm driving myself crazy! Oh well. Anyway like I promised, this is definitely a KaiShin romance. Not much else to add except the usual.

I love reviewers, but I do have a request. I would really love for someone to seriously critique my work. It doesn't have to stop at constructive criticism. I'd love for someone to really pick apart my work and tell me every little thing they hated, what needs to be improved, and what parts of my writing they liked best. Believe me when I say I love all reviews, and it's really nice to know people appreciate my work. However, I'm a far cry from being perfect, and there's always room to improve. Also, if I can get better, I can give better fan fiction to my readers. Anyway, thanks again for reading this fan fiction and hopefully you seriously considered my request.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or Magic Kaitou or any of the characters. All of them belong to Goshou Aoyama. I do, however, own the OCs and plotlines used in this fic.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers, and extremely special thanks to Cadmium Poisoning. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, OMG, I love you! You gave me exactly what I wanted in a critique. I was so excited I was practically bouncing in my seat as I read it for the first time (which earned quite a few stares seeing as it was during class). Anyway, I'd mostly written out this chapter by the time your review popped up, but after I read it (about fifty times because I loved it so much), I went back a rewrote a bunch of it. So, now this chapter is longer and has more details. I hope you like it.

Chapter 3

It was a peaceful afternoon, and Kaitou was accompanying Aoko on a stroll through some park. The day had been fairly uneventful except for Kaitou taking revenge on his poor teacher by dying his hair a bright, neon pink. It was some pretty good hair die too, so the pink would take at the very least six weeks to fade completely. But no one could really fault Kaitou being angry. Really, who wants a pop quiz on a Monday morning?

Anyway, he and Aoko were having yet another laugh at their teacher's expense when his cell phone began ringing. Instantly, Kaitou answered it, and a look of annoyed frustration crossed onto Aoko's face.

"Hello," Kaitou said. "Are you ok? -pause- What happened? -long pause- Oh… -longer pause- Where are you? -very short pause- I'll be right there!"

"Where do you think you're going?!" cried an outraged Aoko. Her eyes were leaking angry tears, and just for good measure, she had pulled out her infamous stuffed fish. "For the past two months, you haven't spent anytime with anyone outside of school. All you do is talk to that one person on the phone, and almost every time, you just rush off to meet him! You promised to spend the afternoon with me today! Is he more important to you than I am? Even when he's just using you?"

From her point of view, this is how things really seemed, very unfair. After Kaitou's admission that one day, she had naturally expected to see him less, but she hadn't expected to see him not at all. It seemed, to her, like Kaitou had given up his whole personal life for some other person, and this person was going to keep taking advantage of Kaitou's kindness forever.

"I'm sorry, Aoko, really I am," Kaitou replied in the most apologetic tone he could muster while being threatened by his worst fear. His hands were held up in a lame attempt to shield himself from the fish. "It's not like that. He just really needs me right now. That's all, honest. He's not using me either, I volunteered."

"Then, at least let me come with you," Aoko said, deflating just a bit. She didn't care how they spent time together; she just wanted to be with Kaitou. After all, she was starting to really miss her childhood friend. "Maybe I can help."

"No offense, but that's a really bad idea," Kaitou commented. "Remember that girl I mentioned, who died protecting him? You look a lot like her."

"Fine, whatever, ok, just go," Aoko sighed in resignation; she knew Kaitou wouldn't make up a lie like that. So, the brown-haired girl just turned around to head home, and Kaitou had taken off as fast as his legs would carry him the second she'd consented.

Conan had stayed home that day, because he wasn't feeling at all well. After his first talk with Kaitou, he'd started to go out on weekends with the Shounen Tanteidan again. However, he wasn't really all there. He'd just follow them around like a shadow or a doll, not saying anything or contributing; he was just there. Slowly, he'd started to smile around them again or laugh just a bit, but they weren't real smiles, and the laughs were fairly forced. Predictably, the corpses began piling up around him again, and Conan had solved thirteen cases in the last eight weeks.

Unfortunately, the most recent one had hit way too close to home. Coupled with the other things eating away at him, it had just been too much. Everything he'd been bottling up just burst, and he just sort of snapped back into almost the exact same state he'd been in when Ran died. That's why he'd been unable to muster the energy to go to school and why he'd called Kid. But he waited until afternoon to all, because he was taking enough time away from the thief's personal life already; he didn't need to pull him out of school as well, no matter how much he'd wanted to. Anyway, this is how the phone conversation had gone.

"Hello. Are you ok?"

"No."

"What happened?"

30 seconds of silence. "There was another murder…the victim…a high school girl."

"Oh"

45 seconds of silence. "Please come. I need to see you."

"Where are you?"

Instant answer. "My library."

Instant response. "I'll be right there."

That call had taken place some time ago, and Conan was still anxiously waiting for the thief's arrival. He had even opened the window as invitation, because Kid never came through the front door. The seconds seemed to stretch on forever as Conan tried to keep himself together until the thief arrived.

"Tantei-kun?" The voice startled him, seeming to come out of nowhere. He turned around to see a boy in jeans and a white silk shirt with spiky blonde hair and a face that looked similar to Inspector Satou's. Kid always showed up in some sort of disguise, but Conan was always able to tell it was him because of a certain feeling he got.

Kaitou frowned as he took in Conan's appearance; it was almost like going back it time to two months ago. Conan had dark bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, and his hair needed a good brushing. The young detective wasn't thin from lack of appetite, but he was paler than normal. His eyes weren't hollow either, but expressed great depression. This, more than anything, confused Kaitou. He thought his Tantei-kun had been getting better. What could have happened in the two days since he'd last seen him to cause such a regression?

Either way, Conan was unable to hold out any longer, jumped straight into Kid's arms, and began sobbing silently into his shirt. Holding him gently in one arm and stroking comforting circles on his back with his fee hand, Kaitou walked over to one of the many plush chairs and sat down. Again, like every other time, the shrunken detective cried until he had no more tears and hours had passed. It was about 7:00 at night when Conan was finally cried out.

Something Kaitou would never, ever tell the other boy was how much Conan's pain affected him. Only his perfected poker face had allowed Kid to keep exactly how much anguish he felt from showing in his expression. Seeing someone you love die is very, very painful. But seeing the one you love in that much pain causes the same amount of agonizing torture, just a different kind.

"So, how has school been for you lately?" Kaitou asked, knowing from experience that he had to speak first for any kind of conversation to start between them. And Conan always seemed to feel at least a little better after talking a bit.

"Rough," Conan answered in a heavy tone. "My friends treat me normally, like nothing ever really happened. I think they want me to forget. But of course everyone's curious, and the most outrageous rumors have been circulating around school for awhile. Since very few people are as considerate as my classmates, I'm questioned by other students about what happened every morning before school and every afternoon when school's over. I stay inside during recess and lunch more than I ever have before, which is hard when I get a serious urge to go juggle a soccer ball."

"Then, do you want to go out and kick around a soccer ball right now?" Kaitou asked in a playful tone, nodding toward the window. Though, when Conan looked to see what was so funny, he lightly punched Kid in the arm.

"Kid, it's started raining out there, quite heavily might I add," Conan's expression morphing into an annoyed scowl.

"So?" Kid asked, raising an amused eyebrow. And that was all it took; this was why Conan needed Kaitou so much. One stupid comment from the thief, and the shrunken detective could manage a real smile and laugh. He could feel relaxed and safe again, safe enough to confide in someone else.

"She was also shot by mistake, in the forehead no less," Conan said, all traces of humor gone as he recalled the previous night's case. He was clutching at the white silk shirt harder than ever. "Her family was horrified, but at least they have each other. You know, she had a little sister. Ayumi and Haibara were planning on going to her house today after school." Silence stretched between them for a while, Conan remaining silent, and the thief waiting for information that wasn't coming.

"Good for them," Kid's frown was back. "Are you going to tell me the rest of it? This is the third dead high school girl, and you seem twice as depressed by this one than the first one, why?"

"I've been thinking about a lot of new things lately," Conan answered after another few minutes of tense silence, turning to look away from Kaitou and out the large window. "I think I'm going crazy, and I'm not sure how long I can handle the pressure this time. She was always the reason I tried so hard before. But everything good that would come with regaining my former self died with Ran."

"Again with the half-truths," Kid said in just a slightly frustrated tone. "How am I supposed to help you move on or try to understand exactly what you're going through when you won't even tell me the truth? If you were talking to someone else besides me, I'd understand. But you're so closed off now that you couldn't have had a decent heart to heart with anyone else. I'm worried about you."

Again, he was hesitating again. But really, how was he supposed to explain this? Kid was right, though. He always seemed to sense things like that so easily. It was at this point that exactly how much Conan had really wished that girl had given him better advice when they talked really hit home.

*Flashback - Set approximately 5 ½ weeks after Kid's and Conan's first talk*

"Haibara, can we talk?"

Those four words startled the shrunken brown-haired scientist so much that she'd nearly jumped up in surprise. Turning away from the computer where she was working, Ai saw a confused looking Kudo standing in the doorway to her laboratory. Now that she herself was any less confused. Raising an eyebrow, she jumped off her stool and invited him into the room. Once they were both seated comfortably on the couch, Ai prompted him to speak by saying, "I'm assuming this conversation is something Kaitou Kid-related or you'd be talking with him."

"Yeah…wait, am I really that bad?" Conan asked, wondering exactly how isolated he had become without noticing. There was much more life in his voice than Ai had ever hoped to hear there again. Although she would never show it or speak of it, she had come to care about the shrunken detective as a brother and was really relieved to see him looking better, more alive.

"Not really," she had answered with a small, sincere smile. "I just sensed that this is something new, and before now, he's always been the first one you speak too."

"Well," Conan returned that smile with a little half-smile of his own. He was also squirming uncomfortably, as though he was about the reveal something he almost thought he shouldn't. "I think I've started to lov-like him, the way I loved Ran, just not that much yet. My heart speeds up, and my stomach feels funny when I think of that stupid, over-confident smirk or those rare, sweet smiles. And thank god he hasn't noticed how I blush whenever he squeezes my hand tightly every time he leaves. It's just so confusing, because I only ever really liked Ran, and this is so different yet somehow the same."

"It's quite understandable that you're feeling these emotions," Ai commented in a very professional tone. "Ran left a huge void in your heart when she died, and Kid seems to be refilling it to quite an extent. He also knows your most deeply hidden secrets, and you've come to trust him. In effect, you have a closer, more open bond with him than you ever did with Ran."

"Thanks so much for sounding like an actual psychiatrist," Conan said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, and Ai giggled for a moment at his tone. "But what am I supposed to do? For one, I have the body of a seven-year-old. Two, he's probably straight as a board. Three, technically speaking, we're not even supposed to be friends, let alone have a romantic relationship. Come on, a thief and a detective? Four-" he was cut off by Ai's hand covering his mouth.

"You're babbling," she told him. "Whatever happens in the future, that decision is to be made between you and him." Her tone had made it abundantly clear that, even though Conan had other things he wanted to ask, the conversation was over. He sighed and stared at her with pleading eyes for a little while longer, but eventually he gave up. Just as he was about to leave, Ai placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "I'm sorry, Kudo, really I am. This just isn't something I can help you with. You really need to talk with Kaitou Kid about this, ok?"

*Flashback End*

And therein lied Conan's biggest problem and worry. He knew that Kaitou Kid would be there as long as he needed him to get over Ran, but what about after? His feelings had grown quickly for the Moonlit Magician, and there was no doubt that he now loved the phantom thief. Conan also knew that these were not rebound feelings, that this love was as permanent as the love he had for Ran. Unlike with Ran though, he had absolutely no claim on Kaitou Kid or his feelings. No certainties of their future together, or in this case, lack thereof.

A/N: And here's the end of Chapter 3. I think I'm going to drive myself crazy with this fan fiction. I just want to make them confess their feelings for each other and be all happy, but that just wouldn't work. Conan's not the type to just blurt out his feelings; we all know that. I mean, he never said anything during the series to Ran, not once, even after the movie confession! And Kaitou's not the type to confess his own feelings when one, Conan's getting over his dead girlfriend, and two, he doesn't think Conan would be interested in the first place! GAH! I **am **going to get these two together; that's the whole point of this fic! Okay, enough of my own little rant. Sorry about that. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. And I've been wondering, do I use too much dialogue in my fics?

Moving right along, is it better than the first couple chapters? Is it worse? Am I just a horrible writer when I get really excited about someone critiquing my work? And following is the usual.

I love reviewers, but I do have a request. I would really love for someone to seriously critique my work. It doesn't have to stop at constructive criticism. I'd love for someone to really pick apart my work and tell me every little thing they hated, what needs to be improved, and what parts of my writing they liked best. Believe me when I say I love all reviews, and it's really nice to know people appreciate my work. However, I'm a far cry from being perfect, and there's always room to improve. Also, if I can get better, I can give better fan fiction to my readers. Anyway, thanks again for reading this fan fiction and hopefully you seriously considered my request.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kaitou stared down at the small boy with no small amount of frustration. Why was he being so obstinate about not telling what was on his mind? It annoyed Kaitou more than it should have, knowing that Conan still didn't trust him completely. Sighing, the thief looked down and saw something akin to lonely desperation in those bright blue eyes, and it left Kaitou feeling all the more frustrated that he didn't know why the miniature detective was feeling this way. He didn't like seeing such emotion's in Conan's eyes, and he could, at the very least, easily appease the loneliness he saw there for one night.

So, without thinking, Kaitou pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number he'd know by heart since he was five years old. Three rings later, his mother answered their house phone in an annoyedly bemused tone. She had been expecting a call from him for a while. As the famous Kid smirk crossed his face, he said, "Kaa-chan, may I spend the night at Tantei-kun's house?"

"Why bother asking when you already know the answer?" his mother answered, causing his smirk to widen. "So long as I know you're safe, it's perfectly fine. Just don't forget to go to school tomorrow."

"Thanks, Kaa-san," Kid replied. Mission accomplished, the phone disappeared from Kaitou's hand in a puff of pink smoke. When he looked into Conan's eyes again, his grin widened again. For the loneliness and desperation had been replaced by incredulity. The last thing he had expected was for the thief to want to spend the night, and although the idea was far from unwelcome, Conan couldn't figure out what motive Kid could possibly have for staying. A hopeful bubble had welled up inside him saying that just maybe Kid returned his feelings, but the shrunken detective quickly squashed that thought before it could grow too much.

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbably, must be the truth." Conan believed these words with all of his heart, and he, himself, was pretty much a living example of them. However, he had not eliminated any impossibilities that would lead to the conclusion of the phantom thief loving him. No, another fairly famous phrase that was almost the exact opposite probably fit this situation better. "All things being equal, the simplest solution is often the correct one." Since Kaitou Kid was someone who really cared about people, and they had steadily built up a friendly rivalry, Conan had deduced that the simplest solution be that a caring person like Kid didn't want to see a, for lack of a better word, friend so unhappy. So, said thief did all he could to help said friend move on.

Anyway, however unexpected the move was, Kaitou Kid would be spending the night. After all, what reason would Conan have to stop him? The thief had already stayed over one night, even though it was, technically speaking, already the next morning since he'd shown up about 2:00 am. So without further ado, Conan pulled Kid out of the library and toward the kitchen, offering to let Kid use a pair of his old pajamas (Shinichi-sized). Once in the kitchen, Conan went to grab the phone to order take-out only to be stopped by a large hand grabbing his small one before it was anywhere close to the receiver.

"Not so fast Tantei-kun," Kaitou said, returning the favor of pulling by tugging the chibi tantei over to the refrigerator. When it was opened, Conan was unsurprised to see it stocked full of fresh food. Ai always made sure he'd have everything he'd need to take care of himself in his own house in case she and Agasa were gone. On the other hand, Kaitou was a little surprised since he knew Conan still lived next door most of the time but said nothing about that. "I can cook you know. So, what would you like for dinner?"

"I don't know, Conan answered. His mind had conveniently traveled to the fact that Kid was still holding his hand, and a light blush appeared on his cheeks. Luckily, his stomach growled loudly at that precise moment Kid had turned to stare at him again, and the blush could easily be explained away. "Preferably something that won't take too long."

"Hamburger steak with a fried egg on top it is," Kaitou replied, choosing something both quick and delicious. He regretted having to let go of Conan's hand, but he did so with a silent sigh and began pulling out the ingredients. Soon enough, the nice sizzling sound and beefy egg smell that indicated that the food was ready filled the kitchen. When they sat down next to each other to eat, Conan stared at Kaitou Kid for a few moments before starting to eat his food. Kaitou also began to eat, passively happy at the yummy sound coming from Conan, but his mind was elsewhere. The expression on Conan's face had caused a tingle to run through both his heart and memories. He had seen that expression before; he just couldn't remember where.

It was later that night, about 10:30. The dishes were clean, and they had retired to the library. Conan was immersed in a well-used, almost battered copy of _The Sign of Four_, and Kaitou was trying to lose himself in one of the earlier _Knight Baron_ books when reality came crashing down. Just as he had stopped thinking about it, the memory hit him like a ton of bricks.

'Dear God, I hope I'm right,' Kaitou thought as he got up and walked over to Conan. What he was about to do went beyond impulsive and straight into reckless, and the consequences could be extremely sever. But now that he saw it, and it seemed so absolutely true in his mind, he couldn't help himself. That's why he pulled off his mask, picked up a startled, shrunken detective, and kissed him with soft, skillful lips.

Conan immediately dropped the book in shock and wondered when he had fallen asleep, because this had to be a dream. After all, he was pretty certain Kid didn't return his feelings. Either way, he wasn't going to let such a nice dream go to waste. So, he closed his eyes, grasped the white silk shirt as tightly as he could, and yanked down to pull Kid closer while returning the kiss with an excited fervor. Kaitou smiled into the kiss, buried his free hand in Conan's hair, and used it to angle Conan's head to deepen the kiss.

A short while later, they broke apart, and Kaitou noted with a smile that Conan had quite the cute, bright blush splashed across his cheeks with hair a lot more ruffle than normal. His eyes were wide with surprise, and his breath was coming out in short, little pants. Overall, Kaitou would have to say Conan was looking quite adorable.

The look and the memory that had returned to Kaitou was a scene he had once seen while spying on the small detective not a month before Ran had died. They had been in the kitchen, and Ran had just finished cooking. She placed Conan's food in front of him and turned around to get her own. Conan's face had held an expression the showed the intense love and affection he had for the female, only to be replaced by the normal childish one when Ran turned back around. See, the look he had seen on Conan's face directed toward him mirrored the one aimed at Ran not so long ago.

Now, Conan obviously had many things to be surprised about once the kiss had been broken. For one, he realized that this was no dream, and _Kaitou Kid_ had actually _kissed_ him. He was also no longer looking at a spiky blonde-haired, green-eyed, Takagi look-a-like. Rather, he was staring up into the violet-blue eyes of a teenager who looked similar to his older self and had dark, messy brown hair. Kid had kissed him _and_ shown his true face. Hope swelled inside Conan's chest, and he did not beat it down this time. Because Kid's expression made it quite clear that he loved Conan just as much as Conan loved him.

"Kuroba Kaitou," the thief whispered softly in the miniature detective's ear, and the reply was a gasp. "Now, I've given you everything, Shinichi-kun."

"Kuroba Kaitou…" Conan whispered softly. "Kid." Then, something struck him, and although the situation was still a serious one, he was unable to hold back his laughter. After all, the phantom thief's true name made for quite the humorous pun. And rather than getting annoyed, Kaitou just smiled. He had often thought the quirk was amusing himself. His heart was also distracting him with numerous flip flops, because if Conan was cute when blushing, he was breathtakingly beautiful when laughing so freely.

"You're father had quite the sense of humor, didn't he?" Conan asked after his bout of giggles was over. Now that he knew who Kid was currently, it wasn't hard to figure out who he'd been in the past.

"Yeah, he did," Kaitou said with something akin to nostalgic sadness. "But I think Mom was actually the one to suggest it, seems more her style. I guess I'll never really know."

"He's what They took from you, isn't he?" Conan asked. He noted, then, that Kaitou had tensed up and wasn't going to ask further. But Kaitou had always been there for him, he wanted to do the same. "You lost him to Them; that's why you could understand."

"Yeah," the thief said with a sad, reminiscent smile. He ruffled Conan's hair a bit and then continued. "They made it look like a stage accident. At the time, I had no idea. I didn't even find out who until a few months after I became Kaitou Kid. Anyway, it's the same organization that did this to you, but a different branch, seeing as mine has animal code names and yours alcoholic ones. So, is this what you weren't telling me?"

"That I'm completely in love with you," Conan answered. "Pretty much, yeah. There were other things too. Like I really shouldn't let myself love you and want you to love me back. Cause I'm a complete jinx for dead bodes. Almost everywhere I go, murderers and victims follow. Ran was murdered just for her connection with me, and you're already targeted by the Organization just for being Kaitou Kid. With my luck, you'll be dead within a month."

They fell into silence again, and Conan's expression grew forlorn once more. Kaitou was annoyed, frustrated, and incredulous all at the same time. How could Conan see through other people so thoroughly but see himself so wrongly? Regardless of this fact, Kaitou would be damned before depriving himself and the detective of this particular relationship. Squeezing the boy tighter to his chest, Kaitou said, "You're wrong. All those murders would have occurred whether or not you were there, and think of all the people you've saved before. How can it be your fault that someone decided to murder someone else? And how many times have there been when someone could've killed me during my nightly excursions? I was still alive last time I checked. Besides, I think corpses following you is Heaven's way of saying they want justice, so it sends the most capable person to catch the murderer. So, you see Shinichi-kun? You're not death, you're hope."

Conan remained silent as he turned these words over in his head. Everyone else had always told him he was jinxed but the more he thought about what Kaitou said, the more he wanted to believe those words to be true. Slowly, the confident smirk that had been gone from his face steadily grew into the expression he wore when catching criminals or solving a puzzle.

Shinichi Kudo was back!

A/N: It's over! I finally have finished this fanfiction. Would any of you believe me if I told you this was originally going to be like a one-page one-shot? Anyway, thank you all of you for sticking with me this long and reading the entire fanfic. I'm sorry the last chapter took so long, but at least it's done.

Just out of curiosity, did any of you notice that a few of the ideas I had were influenced by different animes and books and did you notice which ones? If you could tell me and you were right, I'd be incredibly impressed. Also, this whole fanfiction was based on three quotes I thought would say if certain things had happened in the anime. If you can guess those, you can receive a once in a lifetime reward / prize. I'm planning on writing a one-shot sequel to this. The prize for the winners (the first and second person to get all three right or the two closest) would be to name the OCs I will be using in the sequel. Their real names could be yours, a friend's, something you made up, whatever, and their alias would have to be an animal.

And for the last time for this particular fanfic…

I would really love for someone to seriously critique my work. It doesn't have to stop at constructive criticism. I'd love for someone to really pick apart my work and tell me every little thing they hated, what needs to be improved, and what parts of my writing they liked best. Believe me when I say I love all reviews, and it's really nice to know people appreciate my work. However, I'm a far cry from being perfect, and there's always room to improve. Also, if I can get better, I can give better fan fiction to my readers. Anyway, thanks again for reading this fan fiction and hopefully you seriously considered my request.

Finally, thank you to Kajune, Cadmium Poisoning, GoGothGirl, Cathy Daine, and SunniNiko for the in-depth critiques. I love all of you so much! Your critiques made me so excited and helped me write a better chapter. Trust me, I always feel like my roughs in pen are so much worse than the typed version. I also love all the other reviews and reviewers very, very much. Thank you all for your loving support.


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